Bottling it
Four shows down and still over twenty dates to go I must admit I had a bit of a crisis of confidence last week. You see what I say and do on stage is an ongoing process of finding out what doesn’t work, what does, and what would do better. Standing there talking to people for two hours, people often ask me how I remember it all, after all there are no prompt cards, hidden dialogue written on my sleeve (like Marlon Brando in Superman), or men hiding in box’s mouthing me the lines. The truth is that it’s all in my head, and as some people know all to well, my head’s not always the most securer of vessels.
Some things come out that aren’t supposed to, and some things stay hidden when needed most.
I think this is maybe one of the things people like about what I do, in that it’s pretty fresh, and a little edgy at times, and that I only know what I’m going to say a few milliseconds before they hear it.
But, and it’s a big but, this unscripted approach does lend itself to utter terror sometimes, but they say that real comedy takes risks, and so maybe I’m fully throwing myself into it.
Anyway I had a big does of bad feedback the other day, from a middle aged woman who told me that she expected great pictures or great comedy and that I delivered neither. Feedback like that is pretty toxic, eating away at your confidence, and without that you’re sunk. And so I started second guessing everything I had done, probably ignoring the massive amount of positive feedback, and focusing on the one or two bad.
But then - out of the blue - I got a great email that put me right back on track, from a woman who came to my show expected it to be boring (she came with her dad), but ended up crying with laugher the whole way through.
“From the very start right until you left that stage, we laughed to the point of tears especially at the “Monkey Cum” joke. I bristled a little at this and dared not look in my Dad’s direction but when I saw his shoulders shaking with laughter we both sniggered louder, it was a great chance to share something a little rude with a man I have held high on a pedestal for a very long time.”
Thanks god for emails, and people who help keep you on the right track.
— October 06, 2008 12:00 PM
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