One track lover
What a week!
Had my kids up for the holiday and took them over to Harris (land of the tweed), for some beach and bike action. The only thing that spoilt it was breaking my car while trying to make the car go over humps in the road too fast (kids like that kind of thing). Luckily a nice garage in Ullapool patched it up so I could get back to Inverness.
I think this was the beginning of my logistical nightmare.
I had to get my kids back to Sheffield for school on monday, do a screen test for the BBC in Edinburgh on Monday, and fly to Sweden on Tuesday for a talk. Not to hard, Took the kids home on Saturday (train), came back to Edinburgh on Sun (had to buy a new ticket as return wasn’t valid without kids). Stayed in Edinburgh then meet up with the BBC producer (along with Karen) in the Botanical gardens.
The BBC are looking for ‘interesting’ people with a specialization (botany, geology, suffering), and had asked for us both to do a screen test. This involved talking about an important object, then doing a walking piece to camera (Karen didn’t have to do the walking bit as the ground was too lumpy - another silver lining).
Unfortunately I only read the brief that morning, so had no props, but in such situations very often not having the right tool for the job means you get a much better improvised solution. In the end I took the plug from my computer and told how I was rescued by Al Lee of the Eiger (he lowered a plug out of the Eiger window for me to tie my rope to).
I think she thought I was making it up.
It was then that I got a text from my business partner at Speakers from the Edge asking why I wasn’t in Sweden - and I realized I was supposed to be flying on monday not tuesday. It was 2pm and I needed to be in Liverpool airport by about 6pm. I’d fucked up.
Trying to finish my screen test Karen did some mad ringing up and found there was a flight from Glasgow leaving in 4 hours, and if I left then, and got to the station in 20 minutes, and made all my connections, I may just make it. So off I ran.
Fast forward 2 days. I’d made the flight, and done my talk (I’m not saying I’m unprepared or anything, but it was only when Dave Macleod walked into the room that I realized it was a double bill).
Anyway not wanting any more fuck ups, I got up super early and got the bus for the 80 min journey to the airport, arriving 3 hours before the flight, with no books and a dead battery on my laptop. Seeing my flight at 2pm wasn’t up I asked the woman behind the check in why, and she replied “it’s not till 10pm”, to which I replied “my ticket say it’s 2pm”. Looking at it - and probably trying to keep a straight face - she said “Yes it is at 2pm, but not from this airport.
I was at the wrong bloody airport, and had about 3 hours before the flight left.
Jumping back on the bus to Stockholm it suddenly occurred to me that I wouldn’t make check in. I felt a bit sick. The only thing to do was get a new ticket for the flight from the airport I;d just left - meaning buying yet another bus ticket and going straight back again.
Flying in to Stansted around midnight is never ideal, meaning it’s too late to go to mates house in London, and it’s not worth buying a bed, so I just slept on the floor (a padded computer case makes a good mat for your arse BTW). I’d like to say I woke at 5am, but it was more like I woke up again at 5am (not that I was asleep), just as I had every 10 minutes since I laid down (someone started doing some DIY with a mallet on the display stand I chose to sleep under about 10 minutes after laying down).
And so I staggered down to the train to get a ticket back to Sheffield. Seeing the machine was showing my ticket at a whopping £118 I just thought 5.30pm much be peak time and just paid it (by now I would have murdered anyone who stood in my way). It was only when sat on the train that the guard pointed out that I should be sitting in first class, and that a standard ticket would only have cost £48. “Do you want to change seats?” he asked. “No” I replied - wanting to grab his ticket machine and smash my empty head in with it “I’ll just sit here” (£60 is a lot for a copy of the Times and a complimentary cup of tea).
Anyway I’m home now.
I don’t think I’m cut out to be a jet setter (or train-setter either).
Anyway to cheer myself up downloaded the excellent Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place from Itunes for some comic inspiration. Check out this great spoof of an 80’s style track from Dr. Lucien Sanchez (played by Todd Rivers - played by Matt Berry).
Perhaps I’m a one track lover and a two lane highway?
— April 24, 2009 10:04 AM
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