Open letter to Stevie Haston

Dear Stevie

Had a great idea this morning. I think you should get in touch with Ken Russell (film making version of Ken Wilson… but who looks like Ian Smith) and talk about doing a film of your life.

Think it would be amazing, like The Devils meets Women in Love (you and JIm Perrin wrestling naked in front of MSR stove springs to mind), maybe with a hint of Tommy thrown in (you used to have Roger Daltry hair in the early days).

I’m thinking of a musical of your life, with big musical numbers with you and the late JC lafialle, Martin Burrow smith and Steve House (and a number called “wanking in the toilet”).

Ken’s not working much these days and I’m sure he’s been up for it (he can’t climb for toffee, so I’m guessing you’d get on like a house on fire).

BTW have you ever heard that saying “like drinking poison while you wait for your enemy to die”? Always think of that saying when I read your less than positive view on us Brit climbers (who having no real mountains, dry rock, big walls don’t do too bad).

Hope this is you Stevie because I’d like to say welcome back, we’ve missed you.

Andy