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Andy Kirkpatrick

Dark-Half 

Phone

01 February 2020

I recently had a meal in Helsinki, and at the end, my host said “Andy, we want to ask you a question”, as if this question was something super serious and personal, like if I had ever kissed a man, or openly admitted to listening to James Blunt (the squaddies Ed Sheeran). “Go on,” I said, intrigued, a fan of tough questions. “Is it true….” my host asked, the other guests leaning in over their post-meal coffees as if they’d been waiting all night for this moment, “…that you don’t own a phone?”. “No,” I said, suddenly made aware - by the look on their faces - of my revolutionary act.

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